A Note From The President

Avil Beckford, President

It's been a long time since I have sent out Ambeck Edge, but I have a really good reason. Apart from being busy with life and what it throws my way, I am happy to say that I am now a published author. It's been a long and sometimes difficult journey, but Tales of People Who Get It is finally available. When I was finally ready to let go of my baby, I had an anxiety attack and I started to cry. Is this the normal reaction? I have no idea.

And, being silent isn't always a bad thing. For me, I had to step back and reflect on my life, see who I am, be who I am supposed to be, and live what I believe.

Until next time! Avil

P.S. Like this newsletter? Will customize for medium-sized firms that want to distribute it to their staff. Contact me at avil.beckford@ambeck.com and let's talk!

Book Review

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most comes out of the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project. Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen define a difficult conversation as anything you find hard to talk about. The authors explore "what it is that makes conversations difficult, why we avoid them, and why we often handle them badly." We all face difficult conversations, at home and at work, and each of us has to struggle with how to address them. Do we avoid or confront them? The authors provide a framework for understanding and conducting difficult conversations. One of the authors' stated goal of Difficult Conversations is to " help you turn difficult conversations into learning conversations by helping you handle each of the Three Conversations more productively and improving your ability to handle all three at once."

Stone, Patton and Heen explain that each difficult conversation is really three different conversations - The "What Happened" Conversation, The Feelings Conversation and The Identity Conversation. The "what happened" conversation gets to the facts without placing blame or guessing the others' intentions. Rarely do understanding the facts alone resolve the situation. Feelings are often at the core of a difficult situation. The feelings conversation helps to unravel the complexities of our emotions, while diffusing the negative effects. The identity conversation looks at how the event interacts with our identity. It helps us to see how our perceptions of ourselves may affect the position that we take.

Difficult Conversations is a lot longer than it needs to be, and bloated in some areas. Despite that, I learned and gained a lot from reading this book, and, as I read, I found myself getting a deeper understanding of the subject matter. All participants in a difficult conversation contribute to the outcome.

5 Great Ideas

1. When you are participating in a conversation, you need to understand not only what is said, but also what is not said. You also need to understand what the people involved are thinking and feeling but not saying to each other
2. The gap between what you're really thinking and what you're saying is part of what makes a conversation difficult
3. It's always possible to define a problem without reference to feelings
4. Most difficult conversations involve the "blame game," that is, who's to blame for the mess we're in
5. When you have to deliver bad news, whether it is to fire someone or tell the children that you are getting a divorce, go in with the purpose of giving them the news, of taking responsibility for your part in the outcome, of showing that you care about how they feel, and of trying to be helpful going forward
   

This is not a book you read for entertainment or mere information, but one you read to get a deeper understanding of the intricacies and complexities of difficult conversations. It's packed with a lot of information, so there is no way that you can remember all the information in just one read. The checklist and roadmap at the end of the book is a great review. I recommend this book.

April/May's Book List

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen

Survey Results

According to a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) survey of 1.6 million employees from more than 70 organisations by Sirota Survey Intelligence:

• Seven out of 10 employees gave their employer's commitment to CSR the thumbs-up
• Seven out of 10 employees in these organisations rated senior management as having high integrity compares with just one in five employees who were negative about their employer's CSR record
• Two-thirds of employees who are satisfied with their employer's CSR commitment feel that senior management has a strong sense of direction compared to just 18 per cent in less enlightened organisations
• When employee are positive about their organisation's CSR commitment, employee engagement rises to 86 per cent, but when they are negative about their employer's CSR activities, only 37 per cent are highly engaged
  

Source: http://www.management-issues.com

How Did They Do That?

Interview With Sandra Miller

Challenge: I finished my Masters degree in leadership and training and wanted to use my education in the workplace. I had worked for a government agency for a very long time and now wanted to experience another work environment in the not-for-profit sector.

I accepted an offer within a company that I thought I knew, one I thought would be a good fit for me. Not too long into the process I realized that I had misjudged some of the attributes of that company. And what's interesting is that specializing in leadership and training should have made me more aware of what was presented to me. Some of your other needs often cloud your perceptions no matter how diligent you are when making a decision. My new employer had financial security, and appeared to have opportunities for me, and they came looking for me, which made me feel good.

Previously, I had worked with the company on various projects, but in that context I was an outsider. The CEO said all the right things; we talked about opportunities and my education, and how I could be a change agent, which was what I was really looking for. I had important networks within the sector that the organization was aligned with, and in the public sector where they would receive funding, and I thought that I could leverage those alliances. I made assumptions about the organization's culture based on my prior interactions with them.

After I joined the organization, I realized that a number of their practices were contrary to my values. It was a company managed by fear and retribution, and not the place I thought; I thought they ran like a "well oiled machine Because of confident empowered employees and found out that it ran that way because of fear and punishment. People were not given the opportunity to learn and grow in the organization. My leadership style and values give people opportunities to learn and grow, and be comfortable in their work environment, which reaps higher productivity and loyalty to a company, and allows a more joyful day-to-day experience.

As you grow older, you start to realize what you really value, what you are willing to, and not willing to tolerate, what you will not sign your name to and what action you are not willing to take. The staff was paralyzed by fear of the leadership, yet the staff actually had all sorts of new ideas. I didn't realize before coming into the job that I was the fourth person to sit in that chair in about five years so it really didn't make any difference what I tried to do.

Resolution: After four to five months, I knew that I had made an error in judgment. In planning my go forward position, my first resolution was to continue to perform in my style. I ran the risk of not fitting in with the leadership team, not being successful, and being performance managed. To me, being true to myself was my sole purpose the entire time. And, being true to myself, I decided to perform at a certain level and treat my staff in a way that I believed to be positive, provided them with opportunities, and listened to their suggestions for change and where possible implement them.

As I continued to become stronger and more comfortable with myself in what I believed to be true, my staff started to perform at a higher level and also liked me as a boss. They were more forthcoming with their thoughts and concerns. At the same time I was alienating myself from the leadership, which was a very tight knit group, and the sole decision-makers within the organization. My team was functioning a lot better and was happier, which was perceived as causing grief within the organization. The leadership team sabotaged my success, and the situation started to have a personal impact on me.

A year into the experience I realized that everything I was hired to do I wasn't allowed to do, and the general management and philosophy around the treatment of people were contrary to my own beliefs, and contrary to an environment where I could personally excel, make a tangible difference, and come in to work every day with a smile on my face.

In a situation like this, you have to be reflective and think about your well-being, your mental and physical health, and you have to make a personal decision even though you'd like to stay for the team. I don't like to quit or fail. I knew that I still had a number of years to work, and I didn't see myself here in this environment, so either they were going to pull the plug, or I was going to pull the plug. How do I prepare to protect myself, to look for a new role, and how do you I protect my staff so they are not damaged after I leave?

I started to talk with other CEOs within the system where I was most known in, looking for somewhere else to land, looking for a role that would be more in keeping with the education and the passion and the interests that I have. A place where I would continue to learn and grow, and be able to execute my ideas. Before I completed that process I was released from the company.

I was fortunate, within a short time after my release one of my contacts had a position that was a good fit for my skills. Other corporate contacts provided tremendous support and all my friends and family were extremely supportive. I say I was fortunate because I believe many of life experiences are timing, they come to us to teach us more about ourselves and the company that we keep.

My new role and the organization that I work for is a very good fit for my style, skills, passion and personal need to continue to learn and grow. Within the same short four months that it took previously to identify an untenable situation, I can say that within a much shorter period of time I recognized that this company lives its values, has the respect of individuals and delivers on its hiring promises. It is a place where I can live my values.

Lessons Learned

1. Ask precise questions during the process because you should be interviewing your prospective employers just as much as they are interviewing you; listen for responses that go "clang" with your values: challenge your assumptions
2. It's important so see if the culture that the organization is selling is actually the culture that exists within
3. I learned the importance at looking at the turnover rate for the position that I am interviewing for - had I done this, I would have seen the red flag
4. I learned about the importance of looking at the longevity of the leadership, how many years they've been leading the company, and with that how they remain familiar with the educational and research environment that's out there
5. I have always kept my networks strong, building and nurturing my relationships, and while going through this difficult process, I realized just how important my actions were. Because my networks were so strong, my reputation stood apart from the company that I was working for
   

What Can Ambeck Do For You:

Ambeck Enterprise provides diverse business research and analysis services to senior executives, through the relevant distillation of diverse facts and data.

Formula for Success

Sandra Miller

The formula for success when looking for a job is to research your prospective employer extensively and not act too quickly when making a decision. You need to really understand yourself because the more you understand yourself, the more likely you'll make a better match between you and your future employer. Question why you are going to make a move in your career, and what you want out of it. Look at not just financial security, but also at how the experience you'll acquire will be beneficial to you.

Invest in your network and alliances. True connections are based on individual relationships that transcend employer relationships.

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